A heartwarming royal commemorative issue, in which urchins from the housebuilding industry meet Her Majesty and Diana's memory brings tears to the eyes

We’ve found the leak

Spencer McCarthy might be a rising star in the fast-paced, glamorous world of retirement housebuilding, but that doesn’t count for much when when it comes to the safety and wellbeing of the Royal Family. At Sunday’s polo match in Windsor, he got taken short in the queue for the toilet – so he leapt athletically into a nearby hedge to relieve himself. He was promptly followed by the police, ever vigilant to protect royal guests from those whipping out offensive weapons. “I think you’ll have to hang on for a minute, lads,” the gasped. Lovely.

Pukka chukka tucker

Rumour has it that another son of a housebuilding dynasty mingled with royalty at the polo: Tony Pidgley Jr. His fledgling company, Cadenza, co-sponsored the event, which gave him the right to sup tea with the Queen. While we’re on the subject of Tony and polo, I hear that his amateur team, also known as Cadenza, flies in a ringer from Argentina to ensure that it always wins. How unsporting.

The soft sell

It must’ve seemed like such a good idea at the time. When CABE chose the venue for the launch of its glossy Home Buyer’s Guide, it opted for the Marks & Spencer Lifestore in Newcastle. After all, the Lifestore had a reputation for style and was handily located for trips to Wayne Hemingway’s hip housing scheme for George Wimpey at Staiths South Bank. Then it all went a bit pear-shaped at M&S. Undaunted, CABE went ahead with the launch at the Lifestore last week, but it turned out to be a rather low-key affair. “It was a soft launch,” said a CABE spokesperson.

Separated at birth?
Separated at birth?
Mallory Clifford of Blackfriars Investments ... and scary film star Christopher Walken


Star architect Ken Yeang is not Dr Evil, but he does have a Mini-Me. Ken, who is over here to collect an honorary degree from Sheffield University, hosted a breakfast meeting recently, accompanied by his diminutive eight-year-old son, Max – a dead ringer for his father right down to the cheeky grin. Max behaved impeccably as his dad told me about his latest book on ecodesign, and was only distracted when Fulcrum Consulting’s Andy Ford turned up clutching his motorbike paraphernalia. For the rest of the hour, early-rising diners were treated to the beguiling site of a miniature Ken Yeang solemnly attempting to eat scrambled egg through an absurdly oversized crash helmet.

Queen of Hurts
Queen of Hurts
So, red faces at the design team for the Diana Memorial fountain, closed last week after injuries and poor water flow. Can the team come up with a genius PR ploy to placate the Daily Mail and head off comparisons with the Millennium Bridge? Covering the granite in rubber? Turn it into a water splash fun ride for all the family? Send your ideas to the usual address: £10 drinks voucher for the best...Picture credit: Colin Wheeler