This week we follow construction’s great and good as they tear strips off underperforming football teams, harangue ministers and humiliate hacks …

Gleeds’ gaffa

You may have caught the tabloid story recently telling how Nottingham Forest’s manager Gary Megson invited two fans into his changing room to give the players hell after their 3-0 defeat

by Yeovil. It transpires that one of the two was John Enever, Gleeds’ head of facilities management. Enever says that he told Megson that the team’s performance was unacceptable and was shocked when the manager asked if he wanted to tell the players personally. Enever said: “We thought he was calling our bluff, but at the end of the game, in we went.” Enever and his friend spent about 20 minutes letting off steam to a mildly surprised Forest team. He has now advised the club that, should they require his services in future, an invoice will follow.

Lingering ODA

More news on the long process to get someone to head up the Olympic Delivery Authority. The saga had appeared to be approaching some kind of denouement, with speculation rife that David Higgins’ appointment as chief executive was imminent. However, news reaches me that recruitment consultant Rockpools is still sitting on two shortlists – for both chair and chief executive – which are each thought to consist of four or five names. The names are definitely “international”, and the interviews will be held in the next fortnight, which means we should know soon – honest.

Spinner dropped

Sad news for Nick Welsh, the gregarious head of PR and spin at Amec. Welsh, who has been at the company for many years, has been made redundant after a review of the company’s human resources and communications operations and will leave this week. Sorry to see you go, Nick.

CAD monkey job advert satire
CAD monkey!

Batteries not included

Not that Building is one for product placement, but surely we’d all like the chance to have our very own Cadmonkey to love? (Can even do basic maths! Answers your commands! Two or more monkeys will automatically talk together!) Thanks to everyone who sent it in …

Safety in style

When Will Alsop took hacks on a tour of his West Bromwich cultural centre The Public last Thursday, health and safety was high on Building’s mind. But the experience became slightly embarrassing for our own correspondent after Alsop pointed out to him that his pink hard hat had been doctored to advertise an exciting new scheme called “The Pubic”.

Always make time for lunch

It was good to see that Alun Michael, minister for industry and the regions, was able to fit the Construction Products Association’s autumn lunch into his busy schedule (his portfolio, you will remember, consists of more than 40 industries besides to construction). He might have regretted it afterwards though, as a feisty audience didn’t exactly give him the easiest of rides. Some awkward questions about the aforementioned portfolio preceded a swift exit from the minister – luckily, when you have 40 red briefcases awaiting your attention, there is always an excuse to beat a hasty retreat …

I'm sure they just want you to examine the products Prime Minister
I'm sure they just want you to examine the products Prime Minister