Are you receiving me?

Both parties offered me alternatives - BA with AMEX and NatWest with Visa. The NatWest deal was sent to me in the form of a glossy corporate mail shot. This was well designed, the tone of voice was customer friendly and what's more they offered me 350 Air Miles to join - so I did.

Filling out the form in the mail shot was dead easy. They wrote to me to confirm that I was accepted and then they wrote to me again and then I got angry.

This second letter from the manager of new business and risk control - which sounds like about as far away from the corporate marketing department as one can possibly get - informed me that in order to process my new account the direct debit instructions on my old account had been cancelled and: "It will be necessary for you to make alternative arrangements to settle your last Executive Club statement using the bank giro credit on your last statement either over a bank counter or through the post". It then ended with that totally unbelievable statement (from a bank anyway) "Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience this may cause".

I was livid. The great big bully bank cancels a DD without my permission and then expects me to put things right. And if I don't accept then I can surely expect a long string of letters accusing me of non-payment and threatening me with all sorts of unpleasant things.

By the way, I have always paid my exec card on time and have used it for every business expense since I had it. I am a heavy user but I am thinking that perhaps because I don't provide the bank with lots of interest payments I am considered to be of little importance.

What did I do? - nothing, except tell a few friends. And then, exactly one week later I get a letter from the head of partnership programmes - credit cards (hmm sounds much more friendly!) and he tells me that "If your account is settled by direct debit, this will continue until the balance is fully paid...thank you for your past custom, I hope that we can be of service to you again in the future".

Sounds to me like the manager of new business and risk control needs to talk to the head of partnership programmes - credit cards, I'm sure they'll get along fine! This kind of communication (or miscommunication) tells me a lot about the quality of an organisation. Quality of communication is the unsung hero of the quality movement.

Think quality and you'll likely as not think about quality of leadership, quality of product or quality of brand image. Nothing wrong with any of these but they can be a facade for an organisation that communicates badly both internally and externally. In my opinion the day-to-day tone of voice and use of words tells us more about quality of the organisation than almost anything else.

Let's contrast my bank experience with this gem.

Dear (customer) Our construction department has informed me that the completion date of your new home will be delayed by a further three weeks until dd/mm/yy.

We apologise for any inconvenience caused.

In truth this letter is not real but many builders do write something not dissimilar. Wow - if the bank's little slip up caused me to boil what would I do if I received a letter like this? Basically it says - sorry for screwing your plans up yet again but tough, and I'm in such a rush that despite this being the most important thing you've ever purchased you're only worth a couple of paragraphs and no explanation! Contrast it with this letter.

Dear (customer) You will recall our meeting at the time of your reservation when I explained the building process we adopt at this site and the unlikely events that could cause us to change the build schedule I'm very very sorry to have to inform you that one of these events has arisen. The recent bad weather that we have been experiencing has meant that many of the building works have had to be stopped.

We could have battled on in some cases but at the expense of quality and quality is something that our company will not compromise - we believe it is the number one reason why our customers buy from us and recommend us to their friends again and again.

Now the weather has improved we are moving forward with confidence and have scheduled the completion of your home to our exact quality standards on dd/mm/yy.

We know that you will not be happy with this news but we do hope that you understand the reasons why. It is not in anyone's interest to delay the building of a new home least of all our customers.

If you wish to discuss the contents of this letter please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours etc So which one feels like the quality company? And how much extra effort did the second letter take? - none whatsoever in these days of word processors. The second letter says I really do care.

Now to my pet hate phrase. In fact my company's pet hate phrase. It is the phrase: as soon as possible.

Dear Sir - we will attend to your leaking tap as soon as possible.

The xyz department confirmed that it would finish its report as soon as possible.

I'll call you back as soon as possible.

Each of the above is so meaningless that none are worth writing, stating or speaking. As soon as possible is the ultimate quality cop out. Just what the hell does it mean? Substitute ASAP in each of the above with "by 5 o'clock on April 27" and suddenly the communication is clear, the outcome measurable and it makes the recipient feel a whole lot better.

Ban all uses of ASAP both internally and externally in all written and spoken communications and you can tighten up quality delivery at a stroke. And ban all of its bedfellows such as: within the next few days; this afternoon; and sometime next week.

Put ASAP together with another similar minded statement and you get: reasonable requests will be dealt with as soon as possible. This sloppy non-committal statement represents the bottom line of a major housebuilder's fab new customer care system launched with much gusto a few years ago. What the hell does it mean? I can imagine the board debating its new system at length. Did the conversation go something like this? "We don't want to make too many commitments but we've got to keep up with the customer care thing happening all around us. Then there's the Housing Forum survey - we'd better have something up and running before that comes about!" Finally here's a one liner, again not untypical, that could appear in a customer care manual.

"When you report a defect we will respond within seven days." The customer thinks - if I report on Monday they fix it by next Monday. The contractor believes that if it is reported on Monday then the customer will be contacted by week Wednesday (seven working days) to discuss the defect and arrange a date/time to fix it. Management believes that if it is reported on Monday then the customer will be contacted by next Monday (seven calendar days) to discuss the defect and arrange a date/time to fix it.

The lack of care to communicate exactly what you mean can cause tremendous aggravation, additional communication to resolve the issue and can even see you spending time and money in the law court.