2. A sop to Cerberus Bribe given to appease a potential threat
In a move harking back to the days of Al Capone and prohibition, the UK's police forces are teaming up with MI5, the Inland Revenue and HM Customs and Excise to form a national agency of 'Untouchables'. The aim? To hunt down wealthy gangsters.
The US version was set up to trace Mr Capone's activities, of course, while our own unit will target all criminals involved in suspected drugs dealing and gun running.
Home Secretary David Blunkett has stressed that the income from this latest 'confiscation initiative' should net around £50,000,000 each year. In the ongoing fight against drug trafficking, a sum clearly not to be sniffed at.
Acting up...again
Not content with merely showcasing camera technology ('CCTV breaks new ground', Cerberus, SMT, June 2001), our old friends at TV cop series The Bill are at it again – this time enlisting moonlighting police officers to serve as 'extras' on set.
An insider at The London Evening Standard told your canine companion that police are playing all types of supporting roles in the soaps, ranging from riot officers to armed response officers.
Apparently, those officers who have been given permission to 'do their stuff' for The Magic Rectangle can make up to £120 per day plus overtime. Virtually double the amount they would earn as a common-or-garden constable.
Nice, but Cerberus is left wondering what would happen if a serving officer was found to have taken part in an anti-police drama. A case of 'Dope on a Soap'?
Coastal command
Cerberus heard on the grapevine that the white police helmet may once again become a familiar sight along the beaches and promenades of Hove and Brighton.
Mandarins at Sussex Police plan to stop their beat officers from getting hot under the collar by having them don white helmets during next summer's season. White, of course, will help reflect the sun's rays. It also reflects the hats worn by officers in the area prior to 1968, when the Brighton and Hove Borough forces were amalgamated into the Sussex force.
Will it be a case of all white in the summer light? For now, the Sussex Police Force is keeping further details of its grand plan firmly under its collective hat.
Seasoned 'yobs' on rampage
Alert Gendarmes have arrested a duo of vandals in Orleans, central France who are alleged to have wrecked dozens of cars. Not an unusual pastime for juvenile delinquents, but the couple in question happen to be aged 84 and 76 respectively!
Pensioners Charles and Helene Lagarde, who celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary only last year, have been charged with using nails protruding from the ends of wine bottle corks to scratch cars parked innocently in the streets of the delightful French town.
It seems the cars were stopping the couple's 'wheelie' shopping trolley in its tracks as they tried to reach the front door of their stylish £120,000 abode.
If any of SMT's readers know a funnier road rage story than this one, Cerberus would very much like to hear about it!
Police dogs make bad collars
These are sorry days for one of Cerberus' pals. A drug-sniffing police dog by the name of Falco is proving so unreliable in his job that a judge has thrown out charges against a couple allegedly caught red-handed in their motor home with no less than 560 lbs of marijuana.
After Knox County Sheriff's Department deputies pulled over David and Pamela Stonebreaker's trailer for running a red light, Falco signalled that he could smell dope. However, Cerberus' pooch sidekick has only been successful at weeding out drugs on one out of every three occasions he's tried.
Ruling in the case, Judge Leon Jordon said: "The defendants argue that there was no probable cause to search their vehicle as Falco is so unreliable. The court agrees."
It's sad when a police dog's career goes up in a puff of smoke.
It's a fare cop, mate!
Another police-related story? Cerberus is certainly hot on the trail of our Boys in Blue this month...Apparently, a drink-driver attempting to avoid arrest by County Durham police jumped into their car in the mistaken belief that it was a taxi!
One of the arresting officers told Cerberus: "I was laughing so much I could hardly put the cuffs on him." Quite. 27-year-old Gary McGowan has since been banned from the roads for 18 months and fined £300.
That'll be his most expensive taxi ride ever. Try going to a cab rank next time, Gary...
Source
SMT