The owner of a Leicester-based security company is furious with the Guinness Book of Records. So much so that he's thinking of tearing it to shreds. Literally.
Cerberus has learned that 52-year-old Manjit Singh not only runs the aforementioned MJ Security, he's also a strongman who holds several world records. However, only one of them has been listed in this year's Black Book.
An indignant Singh – who holds no less than 25 records – told your canine companion that he'll now turn to dissecting the famed record book once pored over by Norris McWhirter rather than his favoured target (namely telephone directories!).
New records for which Manjit is now responsible include 152 push-ups in one minute while balancing on his fingertips, and pulling an 11-tonne bus for more than 50 metres. Alas, the book's compilation team has seemingly neglected these gargantuan efforts.
Such omissions wouldn't have happened in Norris' day, thinks Cerberus...
Life in the fast lane
Following German ace Michael Schumacher's storming 2001 Championship win the other week, the Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired the whole of its pit crew – only to employ a bunch of unemployed youths from Liverpool.
The Maranello-based concern's decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how Merseyside's unemployed teenagers are capable of removing a set of car wheels in less than four seconds without any proper equipment. Not even Kwik-Fit are that speedy!
As most F1 races are won and lost in the pits these days, Ferrari would have a definite advantage over their rivals next season.
Only one snag. The lads in question were found to be changing the tyres in under four seconds, but within ten they'd managed to respray, re-number and sell-on the once 'red cherry' to arch rivals McLaren!
Cerberus wonders whether F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone should introduce a Private Racing Industry Act, and license each of the operatives working in the sector. Then again, maybe the story is an elaborate hoax...
Don't call us. Get in touch with Ferrari boss Jean Todt to see if it's true!
Imigix proves "well 'ard"
More news concerning the birthplace of The Beatles... A massive lightning strike that hit the city in recent weeks completely wrecked an entire CCTV installation – except for an Imigix Icon transceiver that continued to work even after everything else was fried to a crisp.
Apparently, the complete CCTV set-up – located in the city centre – was ruined, including the majority of the cameras, the multiplexers, all IT networks and the telephone system. The only damage to the Icon, though, was a partially affected audio input circuit, but that didn't stop the little gizmo from working.
When talking to Cerberus about the incident, Imigix md Richard Morgan said:
"Our transceivers are used in the deserts of the Australian outback and on frozen glaciers in the Arctic Circle. They must be sturdy."
Never let it be said that security systems manufacturers fail to plan for acts of God as well as Parliament and ACPO.
Lingerie raider on the loose
Retail security managers beware. Members of Cerberus' high street spy chain have reported a man for snatching £10,000 worth of underwear from the Knightsbridge branch of Janet Reger.
Only 30 items were stolen, but given that prices in the classy boutique range from £60 for a pair of knickers through to £300 for a nightie it all begins to add up.
The stolen designs – appropriated by a man dressed in a designer Ralph Lauren shirt, no less – were all new and exclusive to the Reger chain. It's feared the mini-slips may have been 'stolen to order' by a cut-price manufacturer who will now bootleg them.
Surprisingly, the shop had no form of security protection in place whatsoever, having re-opened last June in the wake of an extensive and costly refurbishment.
Janet Reger is known as the Queen of Knickers. Alas, her 'neglect to protect' means that the 'Man at Ralph Lauren' is now residing under a similar monicker – the King of Nickers.
Graham's uninvited guest
Service engineer Graham O'Gorman hosted a surprise guest at his recent wedding – when none other than Prime Minister Tony Blair "gatecrashed" the reception!
Graham, who has worked at leading NACOSS installer Crime Prevention Services since 1997, married his beloved Catherine at St Paul's RC Church in West Derby. Blair then walked in on the couple after hearing the raucous and celebratory cheers emanating from the Crown Plaza Hotel, home to the reception.
All 200 guests were stunned when they recognised the 'intruder'.
Cerberus has only one thing to say to Mr Blair. In line with ACPO 2000, please provide confirmation of your intrusion next time, Sir.
Source
SMT
