As the crisis over crime on our streets deepens, West Midlands Police believe they have devised an ingenious approach to the problem – whistling the theme tunes of popular TV police dramas, and playing the taped results through concealed speakers in crime 'hot spots'. They can't be serious, surely?
You'd better believe it. Funded by the Government to the tune of £350,000, the three beat bobbies behind the scheme – Sergeant Chris Dowen and PCs Stuart Birtwisle and Craig Smith – have coalesced a band of Community Watch members and 'recorded' the themes to The Sweeney, Z Cars (how apt) and Dixon of Dock Green. The end result is currently being played in central West Bromwich, where 130 people were mugged last year alone.
Seemingly, the tapes are helping to combat the fear of crime – the number of robberies is falling, and shoppers feel safer. However, women have complained that they are now being wolf-whistled much more frequently as a result. "It's obviously our recording that they're hearing," said PC Smith.
Nonetheless, best think twice before pumping up the volume guys. Cerberus wouldn't want to hear of any West Midlands officers mistakenly being taken to court on charges of sexual harassment.
Let's leave that to Bob The Builder.
Easy... like Sunday morning
In a bid to make blue chip security managers aware of the hacking problem to which their company's networks are prey on a daily basis, IT specialist Vigilante has sent out a cheeky little note concerning the Top Five 'wackiest hacks' perpetrated during the last 12 months.
Among the examples the note cites is the businessman working in his pyjamas over a leisurely Sunday breakfast. A hacker managed to switch on said individual's web cam – then politely asked him to 'cover up' by writing a message to his PC! Another of the Top Five hacks centred on a cyberterrorist who changed the train times on a European national railway's web site, causing huge disruption and passenger frustration.
Mmm. In that case, why don't we enlist this hacker's services. If he could tap into some of the UK train operators' sites, maybe we could all arrive at work on time for once.
A lesson in vandalism
Proof that intellectuals aren't always perfect is evidenced by Dr Roderick Apps, a senior business studies lecturer at Sheffield Hallam University. Fed up with parked cars blocking his daily walk to work, 59-year-old Professor Apps decided he'd do something about it – and 'keyed' more than 11 vehicles over a four-month period of sustained vandalism.
Unbeknown to Apps, John White – the 31-year-old boss of a local video production company – wasn't going to stand for it. Spending £4,000 on CCTV equipment, he captured Apps on camera scoring a key down the side of his own BMW 316 Series motor.
White then traced Apps to his home in Netherley Edge, and tipped off the police.
When cross-examined in court, Apps at first denied the offence, then asserted that "the cars were causing a danger to pedestrians because of the way in which they were parked". The bearded wonder was eventually fined £300.
Now you know, Roderick. The CCTV camera never lies...
"Baby, you can drive my car!"
Staying on the vehicular theme, news reached us this month of a policeman (who helped shape the country's traffic policy) being fined £300 – having admitted to straying over double white lines and causing a nasty accident.
Ken Williams (no relation to the Carry On star, in case you were wondering) pleaded guilty – by letter – to Norfolk magistrates, the 57-year-old chief constable of Norfolk Police having sustained a broken foot in the accident (which also left two people in the oncoming car with minor injuries).
Williams has since been forced to resign his post as chairman of the ACPOs' road policy unit, blaming his aberration on a "momentary error". Time you employed a chauffeur, Ken...
Taking restraint too far?
Apparently, managers at beleaguered British Airways (BA) cannot account for several sets of the handcuffs carried by members of staff to restrain troublesome passengers.
Last year, a mere 17 sets had to be used on board flights, but no less than 255 pairs of shackles went AWOL.
On enquiry from your canine companion, a BA spokesperson commented: "Clearly, our crew members are so professional they feel the need to practice restraint procedures at home." Cerberus thinks it best that Security Management Today's readers make up their own minds as to why handcuffs might be needed in a domestic environment...
Maybe BA should check out exactly what its crews are getting up to on those overnight stops in Amsterdam...
Source
SMT
No comments yet