Trickey's situations

At the end of the month, a group of fellow construction professionals and I meet in our local hostelry to celebrate getting paid and, more importantly, to exchange some of the wheezes we've come up with. This month's wheeze winner was Geordie Dave who, by his own admission, is a fine M&E engineer but is rather lacking in the bricks-and-sticks department.

Dave was none too happy, therefore, to be tasked by his "trouble and strife" with the construction of a conservatory at Geordie Towers. The works got off to a slow start, so wife and kiddies were sent abroad for two weeks while they were accelerated. When they returned, the brickwork was was up to the dpc.

Meanwhile, at work, Dave accrued a whole day's flexitime. Faced with the council worker's ancient dilemma of use it or lose it, he decided that he did not want to use it on his wife's mini-Eden Project – but did want to stay married to her. So, being the canny Geordie he is, Dave hatched a plan. He said goodbye to the wife and drove off in the usual manner – then went to Plymouth to see the Robert Lenkiewicz exhibition.

For those of you not familiar with the artist's work, he kept the embalmed body of an acquaintance in a drawer and had a penchant for painting scantily clad yet well-endowed women. Unfortunately, Dave arrived before the exhibition was open, but was allowed a sneak preview, at which he met several of the aforementioned women. Much to his artistic satisfaction.

Dave recounted this covert expedition with an enormous grin. Needless to say, he is a firm believer that flexitime does have its advantages. He calls it the "work–strife balance".

PS: Good luck to former drinking members Mally (the chicken farmer) and Chris (the slowest kitchen fitter in Devon) on their new jobs. You'll be missed!