How To... write a sex guide

Most people find it tricky enough telling their own children about the birds and the bees, never mind broaching the subject with people they hardly know.

But if your association houses people with learning disabilities, this is something you may be required to do.

Yarrow Housing, which specialises in housing people with learning disabilities, has had a sexuality policy in place for a number of years. This states that tenants have a right to know about sexuality and covers staff responsibilities on the matter. But last year, the landlord realised the message wasn’t getting through.

Joan Sterling, care services manager, says staff were fielding lots of questions about relationships, but felt uncomfortable dealing with the issues raised. Some tenants were already in relationships, but didn’t fully grasp all the repercussions this could have. So Yarrow decided to produce a user-friendly, picture-based guide to sexuality and rights, called Let’s Talk About Sex.

The starting point for producing a useful guide is consulting tenants about what information they want. Yarrow contacted Image in Action, a specialist in sex education for people with learning disabilities, which organised a 10-week discussion group for tenants. This included exploring possible scenarios and videos about relationships. “This allowed tenants to ask lots of questions about their sexuality and sexuality in general,” explains Sterling.

The main issues raised ranged from the meaning of sexuality and what was acceptable and unacceptable sexual behaviour, to clarifying tenants’ rights about what they had to and didn’t have to do in relationships. Yarrow found it had to be clear on laws such as the age of consent, and clarify when it was acceptable to talk about sex and engage in activities such as masturbation and using pornography.

You will need to consult parents when making a guide, though they should not be allowed to dominate proceedings.

“Some parents have a lot of influence on their sons and daughters,” says Sterling. “We wanted to say to service users ‘we respect your parents’ views, but it is your relationship and you have a right to advice for yourself’.” The concern was that some parents might object – but in fact parents returned only positive comments.

When writing the guide, make language as simple as possible and use colourful pictures to make it accessible to a wide range of readers. Yarrow has preverbal and verbal service-users, so relied heavily on pictures drawn by one of its employees.

Ask tenants for feedback to ensure you are on the right tracks – Yarrow did several drafts before finalising its guide. From consultation to publication took six months.

Canvassing the views of staff as well as tenants is also important. “Some staff felt this was a taboo subject and didn’t know what their responsibilities were,” Sterling says. “We made it clear to them it is the service-user’s right to know about sex education.” A guide on staff responsibilities was produced. “Some asked: ‘If the person wants us to buy them porn mags and they’re in a wheelchair, do I have to get it for them?’” she says. Yarrow decided that staff would only be expected to do this if the user needed help – for example, reaching a magazine for someone in a wheelchair – but not actually buy it for them. They also run a twice-yearly training course for all staff that clarifies what’s expected of them.

“We are from all walks of life and religious backgrounds. But what we are trying to say is, ‘you may have other views, but service-users have rights and you can’t impose your views on them’,” explains Sterling.

Once you’ve produced your guide, you must follow it up. Yarrow briefed its clinical team to be prepared for problems such as allegations of child abuse that might arise following the guide’s distribution, and prepared staff so they would be able to answer questions or refer people to external counselling bodies such as Consent, which helps with people’s relationship problems.

The project cost about £2000 to print, consult on and write. Sterling says it has been a great success and there has been interest from other social landlords keen to do a similar guide. She says: “People needed to know their rights and not be afraid to speak out if there is abuse.”