Why Tony Douglas should be our next prime minister

Have you seen All The President’s Men? "Follow the money", was Deep Throat’s message to Carl Bernstein. That’s how they brought down the president.

Following the money this year will bring you to Birmingham – though it’s less likely to bring down a president as lead you to the next prime minister. The Conservative Party Conference this year has some big name sponsors.

Coca-Cola has not only taken a back-page ad on the conference programme, but has built a bull out of its cans outside the Conference Centre. Other fringe events have been sponsored by EDF Energy, L&G, Bayer, Eon and Nestle. The money is following the Tories even though the electorate is still making its mind up.

Coca-Cola has not only taken a back-page ad on the conference programme, but has built a bull out of its cans outside the Conference Centre.

Construction, like almost every other industry, has had a presence at this year’s conferences. Vaughn Burnand, the likeable chief executive of Shepherd Construction, delivered a warm speech at the Construction Confederation/CPA event on Sunday night, and Laing O’Rourke chief operating officer Tony Douglas breezed into town last night to talk about skills.

Likeable isn’t the first word that springs to mind when you think of Tony Douglas. He has the well-oiled ease of a seasoned executive, and at least as far as we journalists are concerned, is less friendly than professionally courteous. And who can blame him? We are not part of the Laing O’Rourke Way.

You can’t fault the success of Laing O’Rourke, and most people in the industry praise them as one of the hardest-working and progressive companies in the sector. But they have this obsession with obtuse management-speak. The Laing O’Rourke Way sees the firm acting as a Total Solutions Provider using a Core and Enabling Process and One Team Project Boards. It would seem that the key to becoming the largest private construction firm in the UK is to Cap Up Words To Make Them More Important.

If The Laing O’Rourke Way is a religion then Tony Douglas is its bible-thumping preacher

If The Laing O’Rourke Way is a religion then Tony Douglas is its bible-thumping preacher. While he spoke passionately last night of the importance of his own apprenticeship and the need for clarity in government spending, it was all filtered through the prism of Laing O’Rourke, its 20% revenue growth and its Human Capital Strategy (I’m assuming those words are similarly capped up. It was the way he said them). There were times when it sounded a bit like a shareholders briefing or, worse, a sales pitch.

Which is why I think Tony Douglas ought to become our next prime minister. If he could take some of the quasi-religious, steel-eyed fervour he has for his company and dedicate it to his country, there are no limits to what he could be capable of. After all, when Gordon Brown or David Cameron reel off their lists of statistics and catchphrases, aren’t they just doing what Douglas did last night? Tony Blair arguably built his entire premiership on management-speak.

Today, Cameron is to make his sales pitch to the country, but it is far from certain that the electorate will buy shares in Conservatives PLC, no matter how many businesses are willing to do the same. So come on, Tony. Do construction proud and make Great Britain into a Total Solutions Provider. We too could do with a 20% growth in revenue.