It's never been properly house-trained
Run! The black mould is coming!
It seems germ warfare has struck sooner than expected in the form of a "greenish-black mould … that grows on timber and ceiling tiles", according to the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors.

This mould is not only harmful to your health, it is also potentially lethal to your wallet – as US landlords will testify.

A court there recently ordered one landlord to pay $2m (£1.29m) for failing to correct mould that caused two women to have asthma attacks. The mould is said to affect more than 3 million UK homes, but of course, once we meet the decent homes target there won't be anything to worry about, will there?

Hold the front page
A shock announcement landed on my desk this week from lender – and prolific researcher – Halifax.

It reveals that what motivates people to move house is … wait for it … a larger home.

Whatever next? People taking holidays to get a break from work? The deputy prime minister taking time out from his exhausting international schedule to decide on the single housing inspectorate?

A moo-ving tale
East Thames Housing Group has really milked the idea of investing in the local community. Encouraged by the group to adopt a healthier lifestyle, many employees have started with their morning coffee by swapping from full-fat to semi-skimmed milk at the cafe near the office.

This sudden surge in demand has led the cafe to expand its offering from just full fat: now locals too are offered semi-skimmed by the bucketload. Talk about a community health project.

Look out Tiger Woods
It's the end of summer, so it must be time for the country's premier sporting event: the Northern Consortium golf day.

Top of the 23 teams in the tournament was Network Communications. The Scottish Power team is still out there somewhere in the twilight. The consortium team, led by amateur magician Ian Wright, managed a first in the "yellow peril" fun competition, and made the ball disappear by belting it into a lake at the very first shot.

Still, £1600 was raised for children's charities so no one's completely tee'd off.

Will the horseplay never end?
You'd think there could only be so many amusing things to happen with horses in houses, but the tails keep coming in.

My recent horse-and-helicopter story brought back memories for one housing association chief. As a rookie in the 1970s he bought up a bunch of back-to-back houses for improvement. One pair of homes contained a family in the front half and, you've guessed it, a horse in the other. The officer put in for a new floor due to the corrosive effects of horse pee – and got it.

A brush with death

Never mind the golf – Northern Consortium head honcho (and recent birthday boy) John Moralee prefers more dangerous sports: stunt driving, for instance. Lost on the York ring road one day, on his way to a conference, the great one phoned for directions. Hearing a “skrrrr” sort of noise, his colleague asked what it was. “I’m having a shave,” said Moralee. “The window washer bottle comes in handy.”

Source

Housing Today