It's in the gutter, but it's reading the Daily Star
Where angels fear to tread
The Housing Corporation's Update North magazine has gone all glam. The latest edition features an alluring spread on "Charlie's Inspectors", otherwise known as Gill Stead, Alison Hood and Dolores Fallon. Just one question remains: who is Charlie?

Mean streets
It seems the union policy of gunning for private contractors doing public sector work has been interpreted a bit too freely by kids on an estate in the West Midlands managed by housing association Whitefriars.

A worker for a well-known housebuilder was recently fitting a new door-entry system to a block of flats when he felt a sharp pain in his back. He spun round to see a gang of kids running off laughing, brandishing an air rifle.

The young miscreants have yet to be caught. And the man? After a swift visit to the nearest A&E, he was found to be OK, although the experience has given him a new awareness of private sector concerns about being in the firing line.

Britain's safest RSL
Gun culture's not limited to the West Midlands – it's even permeating that bastion of respectability, Windsor. Parkside Housing's offices there are directly opposite the entrance to the Victoria Barracks, where armed guards patrol day and night.

Problems can apparently arise when the soldiers feel twitching of the net curtains by over-inquisitive members of staff merits a pointedly brandished machine gun.

However, there is an enormous plus side. Parkside's canny chief exec admits the building's insurance costs are some of the lowest in the country.

The model decorator
Those readers who feel a little more kindly disposed towards the private sector will be pleased to know that it is now possible to buy miniature figurines of their favourite tradespeople. The latest offering is a "valuable fine-art miniature" of a "cheerful" painter and decorator cast in pewter metal. Please forward any other similarly delightful Christmas present solutions to the usual address.

Scare story
The Northern Consortium's practicefest on crime promises to be a rum do this year.

Among the speakers is the tattoo-bedecked Scary Guy. No, he doesn't run around in a Frank Field mask or waving the latest London house prices – he's American and works to combat prejudice among the yoof. He's billed as "America's only live comic book hero", which as well as being something of a contradiction in terms will also come as a surprise to the White House-based caped crusaders busy making the world safe for Starbucks. Now, who's scarier?

A new support service

Prefab fan Lord Rooker sounded an unusual warning note at a construction conference last week. A constituent who lived in a 1930s prefabricated “boot” house once came to the former MP’s surgery with a DIY dilemma. He had found a concrete pillar after removing a wall and wanted to know whether he should contact the council. The minister’s adroit response clearly demonstrated that he was gaining a firmer grip of his new brief. “We do need a warning not to remove internal walls,” he told bemused delegates.

Source

Housing Today