Storing up gossip nuts for the winter
Make my day, antisocial punk
District court judge Alan Berg has been elevated to the status of folk hero among housing officers the length and breadth of the country. "I'd like to shake that man by the hand," said one adoring fan at a recent gathering to discuss developments in the "war on antisocial behaviour". Apparently, Berg managed what all harassed and tormented housing officers have longed to do – he sentenced a troublesome teenage girl to eight months' porridge for continually breaching her ASBO. Could we be witnessing the emergence of housing's very own Dirty Harry?

Tsars in their eyes
Many thanks to John Fozard of Leeds-based Harewood Housing Society, who wrote in expressing his bemusement that the vicar of Dibley had been put in charge of the Home Office's new antisocial behaviour unit. "Sorting out the next 'bring and buy' sale surely cannot compare to the lawlessness of our inner-city streets," he wrote. Louise Casey will no doubt be flattered by the confusion over the similarity of her sense of humour with comedienne Dawn French. Other government dead ringers to the usual address, please.

Northern blight
Yorkshire folk have had ample cause for complaint this week. Regional development agency Yorkshire Forward has managed to put in an exceptionally lame performance on the jobs front, creating or "safeguarding" only 1260 jobs in the first quarter against its 10,500 annual target. But cheer up – analysing what went wrong will surely keep quite a few jobs safe in the coming months.

Do us a favour: look interested
The organisers of a recent conference (which will remain nameless) took visitors by surprise with an unexpected announcement from the platform: "The exhibitors would like to say that it's OK to nick the pens but could you please pretend to look at the stands as well."

At least it doesn't leak
Prefab folk are keen to woo the sector with the reliability of factory-built housing. However, their quality control clearly doesn't extend to freebies. I was overjoyed to receive a free pen from manufacturer Yorkon. But joy turned to consternation when after a few hours of happy scribbling the pen fell apart and proved near impossible to put back together.

Barrel of laughs
It's a hard life being Prince Charles. You get lots of free gifts, but not always the ones you hoped for. On a recent visit to a care home supported by the Worshipful Company of Coopers, the Prince was presented with a miniature whisky barrel. He removed the cork, peered into the cask and said: "I had rather hoped there was something inside."

Socks and dregs and rock’n’roll

Homelessness charity Centrepoint is poised to benefit from the ritual dredging of the barrel for the stars of yesteryear for Channel Four’s next Big Brother. It will receive 15p from every call made to evict one of this year’s Z-list celebs from the house. But with a choice of such showbiz icons as Anne Diamond and Les Dennis, Centrepoint must be concerned that anybody will bother to phone in. Fortunately, the charity has already pulled in £2220 from a recent socks-of-the-stars auction. Mick Jagger’s yellow socks could have been yours for £500 and Robbie Williams’ socks, with free stockings and suspenders, were a snip at £200.

Source

Housing Today