The Key Concierge is a property and building management company set up to offer 24 hour services to clients on anything from project management on a building project through to household building, plumbing and gardening services

Drinks with these two doesn’t feel much like a Buys a Pint … mainly because, thanks to New Year’s resolutions and the London Marathon, neither of them are on the alcohol tonight. In fact it’s more like taking the kids out for a weekend treat. “Two pints of diet cola and a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch please,” says Roly. Bless.

It’s Roly who is on the stricter, more permanent health kick - desperate to be fighting fit in time for this year’s marathon after a somewhat disappointing result the last time around: “I hit the wall at nine miles,” he says shaking his head. “Though I blame heatstroke.”

“Didn’t you do it the same year as that guy in the full diving suit?” asks Richard.

“But he finished about five days after me,” says Roly indignantly before continuing: “Either way - the next attempt is in 14 weeks now and I have given up drinking for January to help me give up smoking. It’s going OK so far.”

We’re onto the next topic of conversation - getting old. The guys with the Monster Munch and fizzy drinks? Really? Apparently so: “The worst thing about getting older is constantly worrying that your hair is falling out,” says Roly. “And checking for grey hairs too. I found one recently and it upset me for ages.”

“I am loving being 30,” adds Richard, “but a wife would be good at some point soon. And a dog. In fact just the dog to begin with. We want to get an office dog but I want a Labrador …”

“… and I want a Puggle [a pug/ beagle cross],” beams Roly. “We’re not getting a Puggle,” says Richard. “But I don’t want a big dog in the office,” shoots back Roly. It seems Richard’s lack of a wife is, in part at least, compensated for by his business partner. The pair bicker about what dog to get like many a married couple.

There is always Plan B however: a fish tank. And the boys are well trained in that department having both kept piranhas - yes, piranhas - at university: “They’re not as exciting as they sound,” says Richard. Roly agrees: “I would stick my hand in the tank all the time and they never really did anything.” Although Richard does warn: “I wouldn’t do that after not feeding them for a week.” Duly noted.

Moving on to the last topic of conversation, and the boys start to show their age by admitting they believe that quality bed linen is very important. Roly in particular is keen to make the case: “I have actually started to ask for sheets and duvets for presents. I have an amazing duvet that has two layers buttoned together so you can have a winter and summer duvet in one. It’s brilliant.”

A short silence follows this final comment on the joys of multi-seasonal bedding before Richard sums up the “Pint”: “Bed linen, Puggles, diet cola and Monster Munch … I am not feeling very manly right now.”

The Key Concierge:

Chosen venue

Curtain’s Up in Baron’s Court

Ambience: a homely, sofa strewn theatre pub

Topics of conversation: getting fit, getting old, Puggles, piranhas and bed linen

Drinks drunk

Four pints of diet coke, two packets of ham and mustard monster munch and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps

Who was there

Roland Sage - managing director
Richard Scrope - managing director
Emily Wright, Building