It’s a dead heat for who’s had the worst week: a load of rockery-dwelling statues, the man faced with a mountain of company records, or a client forced to delay a – ahem – delicate procedure

Paper trial

Ernst & Young has been allotted the grim task of picking through the remains of collapsed Shropshire contractor Wrekin. Administrator Ian Best has wearily admitted it may take over a year to untangle the inter-company debts of parent group Tamar. And then there’s the small matter of the £11m ruby used to shore up Wrekin’s balance sheet that, it turns out, is worth considerably less. Such complexity has generated some pretty formidable paperwork. I’m told it has been stacked floor to ceiling in the 400ft2 training room at Wrekin’s HQ. We hope Ian can tunnel his way out some time this year.

Irony supplement

A fortnight ago, we printed a photo of a man in a high-vis vest with “We’ll never die” on the back, next to a man wearing a vest from collapsed contractor Verry. Alas, our assertion that this was a Man U slogan is apparently incorrect. “The gentleman is almost certainly a Luton Town fan,” writes Steve Hall of Southern Housing Group. “The vests were adopted after the FA decided to deduct 30 points from the team for going into administration.” Thanks, Steve. Seems as if the irony was even greater than we thought, then … 

No snooze is good snooze

The industrious spirit of the 4,000-odd Olympic site workers has been widely and justly celebrated in recent months. So it was good to see one of the hardworking multitude taking a well-deserved kip in a rowing boat on one of the park’s waterways last Friday morning. His timing may not have gone down too well in head office, however – the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games happened to be taking a busload of journalists past at the time. Is there such a thing as a good snooze story?

Neither use nor ornament
Credit: Morten Morland

Neither use nor ornament

Little Britain alert! The recycling division of Lincolnshire-based construction firm Lindum Group has noticed a radical increase in the number of garden gnomes being thrown away. Concerned for the fate of these usually merry fellows, Lindum has opened a “retirement home” to accommodate them. Chairman David Chambers says: “We have 80 in the business park gardens here – we feel sorry for them.” If you’re in the area, Lindum’s “gnomes away from home” can be visited in the Lindum Business Park, North Hykeham.

Chopper shopper

Question: the sustainability director of which large consultant not only drives a flash sports car but has also recently passed his helicopter pilot’s licence? Green expert during the week, it seems his weekends are spent with gas-guzzling machines, including regularly hiring a copter to take his wife into the country for a “£500 cup of tea”. The mystery man knows it doesn’t look good, but he says he loves the hobby so much he can’t help it. I guess even eco types occasionally feel the need for speed …

Once, twice, three times a divorcé

Being a building inspector clearly introduces you to people from all walks of life, was the message from a documentary on Channel 4 last week. The Building Inspector is Coming followed three inspectors around Birmingham and introduced us to one particularly colourful self-builder, George Galvin. The cross-dressing pre-op transsexual was pondering the failure of his third marriage to camera. “She’s quite upset about it,” he mused, referring to wife Marlene’s decision to move into the house next door. Fairly understandable? Clearly not for George, who added: “It’s the same reason my first two wives left me, actually.” Poor old George had to cancel his operation to pay for his new roof. Clearly building an extension was more important than getting rid of one.