is this week set in the seamy netherworld of commercial sex, street violence and politics. Some items may be unsuitable for young swans …

The joy of Socs

It’s a tough job being an amateur architecture critic. A colleague of mine gave up a whole evening last week to meet Socrates Miltiadou of Papa Architects at the grand opening of his new building. This was Hustler Hollywood, an “adult erotic emporium” in Brewer Street, Soho. Socs was clearly dedicated to the finer details of his task – he pent a whole day going through back issues of Hustler to decide which covers should be blown up to fill the walls of the store. The campaign for Socs’ RIBA gold medal starts here …

Miss Bournemouth revisited

Unused as he is to such occasions, our correspondent was flustered to find himself squeezed into a room heaving with pneumatic former soap stars such as Jennifer Ellison, and unfeasibly endowed “glamour” models such as Jodie Marsh. He was therefore relieved to find that he and a lady guest had a friend in common. It turns out that Leilani (former Miss UK, not to mention Miss Bournemouth) has been modelling with one Lucy Becker, who happened to be the girl he sat next to at school. Alas, Leilani admitted that she and Lucy had had a falling-out, nipping our man’s attempts at mutual reminiscences – and maybe more – firmly in the bud.

Kilroy wos ’ere

I’d never suggest that Robert Kilroy-Silk is self-obsessed, but … polling cards in the forthcoming election place their party next to their names. So, for example, on the card for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath you will find “Gordon Brown, Labour party”. Yet for Veritas’ Kingston & Surbiton candidate it reads “David Henson, Veritas Party, leader Robert Kilroy-Silk”. Don’t worry Bob, we haven’t forgotten you. Yet.

Great minds …

Proof all journalists think alike or simply that staff at The Observer have excellent taste in reading matter? The Sunday paper has just run a contest for readers to suggest a new name for struggling contractor Jarvis. If this sounds familiar in any way it may be because Building ran more or less the same competition on 24 March …

Not you again

My sources tell me Ashley Muldoon, Multiplex hardman and Wembley project director, is not talking to one of his neighbours. The reason being that the neighbour in question is Cleveland Bridge, the steel contractor that left the stadium project last year after a bitter bust-up and before long conversations with m’learned friends. The Darlington firm is working on a bridge next to the Wembley site. Apparently Muldoon said he won’t be popping round to to borrow any sugar.

Not a shaggy dog story

I hear business park developer Arlington is having a spot of bother with angry tenants at one of its developments near Portsmouth. It seems they have taken to hissing and threatening passers-by with violence. Rather than resorting to ASBOs and eviction, however, Arlington is trying to cool the situation by erecting signs warning people to beware of swans during the nesting season …

Hailed in Wales
Hailed in Wales
I hear the Welsh assembly is making the most

of a Building feature about its new home. The article recounted how the Welsh had kept costs in check by changing the procurement route to design-and-build. During finance minister’s questions last week, a Labour member holding a copy of Building jumped to his feet to say how encouraged they all were by the article.