Our bon vivant is at the annual sailing bash this week, playing air guitar, avoiding drunken Mexicans, laughing at clumsy Irishmen and generally averting his eyes …

Oh, what a night …

Another epic performance from the gentlemen on board the Domus boat at the Little Britain regatta this year. Not content with being officially admonished for excessive rowdiness last year, the crew raised exactly the same racket this time round. An encounter with team member (and, funnily enough, Little Britain committee lynchpin) David Kong had indicated that Friday night would be a “quiet one” after the bacchanalian excess of the night before. Which meant, obviously, a crowd of no fewer than 60 hanging off the masts at 4am on Saturday rocking out to early 1980s heavy metal. Your correspondent was last seen playing air guitar to Whitesnake with two delightful chaps from Adams Kara Taylor towards the aft of the splendid vessel.

More flash than splash

The crew of the Consolidation Centre boat got to see a little more scenery than they bargained for, thanks to Adrian Blumenthal, team member and Constructing Excellence manager. Adrian was enthusiastically making himself useful about the deck when it seemed he strained a little too hard. Upon hearing his cries of anguish shocked teammates turned to see that his shorts had split open at the front, leaving the unfortunate sailor fully exposed to the chilly conditions. This didn’t put Adrian off, however. The next day he was just as gung-ho – and ended up in exactly the same predicament with his second set of trousers. What are the chances?

Davy Jones has your number

Another unlucky member of the Consolidation Centre crew was BAA director David Frizell. He watched in dismay as his mobile slipped out of his grasp and down between two planks on the quayside. Kneeling down to wave the device goodbye, however, he saw that it was resting on a thin piece of wire suspended just below the gangway. With all the delicacy of an angel, the rugged Irishman reached down … and sent it spinning to the bottom of the sea. “Half of the construction industry has now gone to Davy Jones’ locker”, he later complained, as he pondered how to staff his projects without years’ worth of contacts.

Idle hands

The Saturday night gala dinner is traditionally a highlight of the Little Britain festival, with guests ditching the ropey hotdogs in favour of a proper sit-down feast. Service was not all it could have been though – a kitchen mix-up left one group without their main courses until after the desserts had been served. But, rather than sitting there complaining, the hungry yet resourceful guests made good use of their time: a series of surprisingly well-crafted paper dolls, complete with full bodily endowments, were sent rising to the ceiling attached to helium balloons. Hats off to the creator of the one that got stuck in front of the projector …

Ooh là là, mes amigos

My sources tell me that it was very clearly marked in the Little Britain programme that Friday night was to be a Moulin Rouge evening. Cue the usual bodices, can-can outfits and dubious demeanour of those who observed the dress code. Quite why, therefore, Darren Comber (Scott Brownrigg), Patrick O’Keefe (O’Keefe Construction), John Barbour (Davis Langdon) and Kevin Brush (ex-William Verry) dressed up as sombrero-sporting Mexicans is anyone’s guess. Comber compounded his error by going for a not-very-sticky stick-on droopy moustache, which ended up plastered across his forehead. But full marks for effort, señors …

They've invented a new watersport - sombrero surfing
They've invented a new watersport - sombrero surfing