Sniffing closely at the underbelly of social housing
Great logo, shame about the city
The administration at Hull City Council last week took time out from responding to a damning report about its services provision to poke fun at the previous leadership's attempts to talk up the city. These included an expensive rebranding exercise to dub it "pioneering", and a logo of a cog. Effortlessly switching metaphors, one of the councillors said: "There was plenty of icing on the cake, but the cake was rotten." Perhaps the new logo could resemble a fairy bun.

Gimme Shelter
After the frenzied speculation surrounding the abortive Shelter/Crisis merger, the latest theories flying around centre on who will replace Chris Holmes as director of the homelessness charity.

Current director of policy Alistair Jackson must be considered a serious contender, having honed his skills as head of investment and regeneration at the National Housing Federation.

Meanwhile, rumoured sightings of Crisis chief executive Shaks Ghosh hanging around Old Street with CV in hand had not been proved at the time of going to press.

The talented Mr Davies
Derby City Council's secret to achieving the double three-star rating from the Audit Commission has finally been exposed – its multi-functional senior staff. According to a conference information pack, acting director of housing Phil Davies operates a taxi service in his spare time, and also works as a driving instructor for a bit of light relaxation.

Exhausted by reading this list, Social Animal asked Davies how he managed to fit in two parallel careers alongside his day job. The reassuring reply was that his only customers were his three daughters.

Tough call
The Northern Echo's top penman Mike Amos tells me an everyday tale of double glazing folk. A saleswoman called up one ACL Blair of Trimdon and asked what kind of windows were installed at the property. Inch-thick bulletproof, came the reply. Unimpressed, the saleswoman pressed on: were there any outside security devices? By the time the conversation reached the special branch officers lurking in the bushes, the penny dropped.

Let there be plight
Suggestions flood in with new names for the troubled West Hampstead Housing Association. Its owner, the Genesis Group, is keeping the new moniker close to its chest, but this magazine last week suggested it stick with the biblical theme and plump for "Revelations (Unpleasant) Housing Association".

A devout reader in King's Cross reminds me that the association may stand a better chance of winning Housing Corporation forgiveness if it renames itself "Lamentations". But given West Hampstead's precarious finances, perhaps the Book of Numbers would be more suitable.

Vagrancy vacations flop
It is with heavy heart that this column reports the demise of Dutch holiday firm Kamstra Travel's "homelessness holidays".

As we reported last summer, Kamstra was offering companies the chance to let staff live in cardboard boxes in Paris for five days. This, we were informed, would be the perfect teambuilding exercise.

But the firm has yet to receive a booking, and is likely to drop the offer from next year's brochures. Kamstra was going to extend the holiday to London as well, but possibly the idea of dodging Rough Sleepers Unit staff was too much for even the hardiest of teambuilders.

Next time, write it down
I gather that there were a few red faces at the National Housing Federation the other day when some important guidance was accidentally deleted from its website. But what was this crucial information? Ah, yes: guidance on document retention.

What's next? A confidential freedom of information policy?

Snack alert
Spare a thought for staff at gas supplier Transco and manufacturer Groves Cranes, who recently had to evacuate the office building they share with Sunderland Housing Group.

The fire alarms at Akeler House went into overdrive, prompting fears of disaster. Happily, it turned out to be a false alarm triggered by toast prepared by Sunderland Housing Group grounds maintenance clerk Jean Riddell.

As it was raining heavily that day, Jean will now probably have to start buttering up her colleagues.