King of the gossip jungle
This week's housing minister
Poor deputy prime minister John Prescott. After talking at great length about his need for spectacles at the press conference following his statement to the House of Commons last week on the spending review, he introduced the eager journalists to housing minister Lord Rooker.

But the person he pointed to was former housing minister Nick Raynsford, now in charge of local government. Well, there have been a lot of housing ministers recently, so it's quite easy to get confused.

Perry for your thoughts
Not everyone is overjoyed by Gordon Brown's extra cash for housing, announced last week in his comprehensive spending review. One senior housing figure was overheard to mutter to a colleague: "They've been talking about this for four or five weeks but it doesn't start until 2004. You try explaining that to the punters."

Who could possibly be the owner of such a cynical attitude towards the good tenants of social housing? Surely not Housing Corporation chief Norman Perry?

Shake me up before you go-go
Social Animal reckons housing minister Lord Rooker is a pretty hip sort of a guy.

So he must have been mistaken when, during a House of Lords debate on the new priority needs categories for homeless people, Rooker assured his peers that the Housing Corporation was "a real go-go body". Despite being an ardent admirer of the lovely Baroness Dean, I hesitate to envisage our erstwhile regulator as a go-go dancer.

Get Sporty
Housing Quality Network supremo Alistair McIntosh calls me with news of a distressing incident on his customary flight from Teesside airport last Sunday. High-flying execs being something of a rarity around Osmotherley, McIntosh tends to regard the flight as his own Elvis-style Lear Jet experience.

So imagine his surprise this time round when he found himself sharing the egg and cress sandwiches with none other than Melanie Chisholm, better known as Sporty Spice. Did she have strong views on the comprehensive spending review? Sadly, McIntosh did not ask. I am inconsolable.

Folly the leader
An outbreak of reverse-nimbyism is sweeping the country, it seems. A couple from Oldham want to put up a 23 m high windmill, which they say could power an entire hamlet, in their garden. Not to be outdone, a man from North Yorkshire wants permission for a 8 m stone obelisk to celebrate his daughter's wedding.

But after his generous £150m extra for flood defences this week, it is surely time to erect a statue in memory of Big John Prescott's waders. Readers are invited to suggest suitable sites.

A sport of questions

The keynote debate at last week’s Development, Regeneration and Asset Maintenance Conference at Warwick University failed to strike a chord with the delegates. After four speakers had eloquently advanced their competing arguments, an expectant appeal for contributions from the floor met with stony silence. The debate’s moderator, NHF chair Richard MacCarthy, hastily reminded those assembled that a prize would be awarded for the most incisive question of the evening. Much to his relief, one hand went up. “And what prize would that be?” was the query.