Stop, look and listen

One skill everyone mentions in a good team manager is the ability to listen. Listening properly is as much of an activity as talking. Ask yourself if you are listening because you want to understand what the other person is saying, or because you intend to reply.

The first step towards real listening is to concentrate on listening to understand. Try not to think about what you are going to say in reply. Ask non-threatening questions to find out what they are trying to get across and listen carefully as they explain. Show a response – good listening is not passive, but active and engaged.

I remember a project manager experiencing real difficulties with one member of his team, and telling me proudly that he had sorted it all out. "What did you do?" I asked. "I gave them a good listening to," was his answer.

Dialogue

Don't forget that when you are listening in order to reply, you are entering into a dialogue. This is a special kind of conversation that requires you to listen and think at the same time. When you reply, use something from what has been said – this gives value to what the other person is saying.

In a good team, everyone feels able to offer ideas and suggestions. Both the manager and the team members accept that other people's ideas may be different from their own, and should look for value in the ideas, not for flaws. Challenging other people's ideas may be a good thing, but can easily lead to argument and criticism if taken to extremes. This then makes people less willing to offer their ideas.

In effective teams, people try to build on each other's ideas. This is an important area in which a team manager can set an example – don't just agree with good suggestions, try to add to them and carry them forward. This happens naturally if you use phrases like "Yes and . . ." rather than "yes but . . ."

You have to get your own ideas across to the team and brief team members. But how can you ensure people take notice of what you are saying? They will be influenced by how you say things, as well as by the content. You are not expected to be a genius and have all the right answers, but you can make sure that you explain things clearly without elaborating too much.

Don’t forget that when you are listening in order to reply, you are entering into a dialogue. This is a special kind of conversation that requires you to listen and think at the same time

Let people ask you questions so you can judge how much they have understood and give more explanation where needed. Don't be afraid of questions, at least they are showing interest.

It does not take long when you are managing a team to see that they are all different. Some people talk all the time, others hardly say a word. Some people plan their work meticulously, and others improvise as they go along. You will recognise that each person's strengths and weaknesses are often two sides of the same coin. The person who talks too much probably produces lots of great ideas. But maybe that person cannot be relied on to do really careful detailed plans. They may also like things explained to the nth degree.

Feedback

One of your jobs as team manager is to help use and develop your people's strengths, while trying to lessen any downside of their characteristics. How can you do this? Well, first of all, do not assume that your team members are fully aware of their own strengths, however confident they may seem. Find the time to tell them when they have done a good job, saying exactly what it was they did that led to the success. The idea is to catch them doing something well, and tell them so. That way they know what to do in the future.

Giving direct, detailed feedback to team members when things have gone well is something many managers forget to do,

yet it is so valuable in building up the confidence of team members – and people who are confident about their skills work more effectively and willingly. If a manager gives feedback only when things have gone wrong, the team can quickly become demoralised.