Homeowners are from heaven and builders are from Mars and it will take a brave organisation to reconcile them. So, hats off to the Construction Conciliation Group
Oh, what brave souls I am going to tell you about. They have formed a brand new enterprise in the UK called the Construction Conciliation Group. They could adopt that well-known logo for their letter-head: the abandoned hatchet. And if I were a housebuilder or house-extender or house-makeoverer, I would beat a path to the CCG's door today. Starting now.

The CCG is willing to enter into and attempt to solve disputes between consumers and their builders. And when I hear the word "consumer" or the phrase "residential occupier", I want to shout out "help me, please". The customer is always right. The customer is always right even when they are as wrong as a ferret in a can of spaghetti. They are all gifted, bright, well educated and well paid; life is heaven on Earth for them – until the builder turns up. This builder comes from Mars. The planet has come so close to Earth that it has been dropping off blokes who build houses. Of course Martian builders don't do things right, at least not according to Mr and Mrs Consumer. They have completely different expectations. And when a Martian is late finishing or sends a bill for extras, well, there is an interplanetary incident.

That's why you builder folk need the CCG. Listen to me carefully: when you have a complaining consumer, don't fight back. I don't mean cave in, I mean this: sublet the problem to this group of brave souls. Let them sort it out while you get on with the job of upsetting the next set of consumers. Point the complainant to the website www.ccgroup.org.uk. Tell the customer to plug into these people – or even plug in yourself.

Unlike commercial construction, statutory adjudication does not apply to building contracts with residential occupiers unless a standard form of contract applies or it has been expressly agreed. So the forum for disputes is the county court. The cost of going there is embarrassing; in any case, the county court judge will tell the builder and consumer to go away and conciliate.

Conciliation – or mediation – is a process by which an independent impartial person assists the parties to their own solution. Business uses this idea more and more. Opportunists think it is a device for getting an added discount on the final account. But it isn't that at all. A good conciliator will assist the parties to see the wisdom of getting rid of the dispute instead of investing their nervous energy, to say nothing of their hard cash, in a court case.

Listen to me carefully: when you have a complaining consumer, don’t fight back. Sublet the problem to this group of brave souls

The conciliator is a listener. They listen on a one-to-one basis and keep mum about what they are told. The conciliator's technique is to "meld the minds" in their toing and froing between the folks. Since builders are from Mars and consumers are from Utopia, the job requires some melding. So who are the conciliators? The list, at the last count, runs to 25. Most of them I know and can vouch for. They can conciliate; but they must be paid for. That is taken care of by a capped-fee system. Each of the 25 has published a fee rate and there are four bands £100 an hour, £150, £200, £250 plus a fifth by agreement. Then there are fixed period bands: five hours, nine-and-a-half hours and 14 hours. Overall, the process should take 28 days. At the end, the meeting day comes along and the conciliator waves their wand.

And if this wand doesn't work? Well, they have a trick up their sleeves. Within seven days of the meeting they make a "recommendation". It is not a recommendation at all. It is in truth a binding and imposed decision. That decision is to be obeyed. It stands until someone coaxes a court to decide differently.

I am a tad uncomfortable with the binding recommendation idea. First, is that word misleading? Second, is it on for the conciliator to make a binding decision without each side knowing what case is now in the adjudicator's mind? If I were from Mars, I would wonder what the folk from heaven said and vice versa.

One thing is for sure. If things go against the folk from heaven, it will be the conciliator who gets the blame.